Download your FREE Guide: Why Children Need Dads
If you aren’t seeing your child, you’ll want this guide.
- 20 reasons why children need a dad.
- Plus, I’ll show you how to access the E-Book: Getting Access to Your Child for Divorced Dads
Now Getting Full Access to My Kids
“I no longer have to see my children at the contact centre, and within a few weeks I will be having full access to my kids. The course has gone a long way to helping me achieve those goals.”
Up to 40% of divorcing dads in Britain lose all contact with their children within two years of the family splitting up. For many men, the sheer difficulty of seeing their child becomes too great.
- For some men, the conflict with the child’s mum becomes too obstructive.
- Sometimes the dad drifts away from the family, for some reason, and never quite gets regular visits organised.
- For others, an incident occurs while the child is in their care, and they are accused of child abuse. If this is the case, for you, please click here (link to Dads accused of abuse.)
Despite all the obstacles, it is worth working hard to re-establish contact with your child, so that you can be in their lives, and your child has the chance of a good relationship with you as they grow older.
How might your child feel, without you in their lives?
- Guilty, because if you walked out on them, it must be their own fault. Children often believe they are responsible for things that happen to them.
- Rejected, because they weren’t worth fighting for.
- Angry, because you left them.
- Confused, because they don’t know what was so wrong with them, they didn’t deserve to be in your life.
- Torn, because their mum doesn’t love you anymore, and they overhear bad things about you. Children often think people are good OR bad. They don’t understand someone can be good, yet do something they think of as ‘bad,’ such as leaving them or upsetting their mum.
- Bad inside. They have half your genes. If you’re ‘bad’ they must be half-bad too.
- They may feel men aren’t to be trusted if their own father doesn’t stick by them.
- Unless they have good male role-models around them, they will grow up to have a negative view of men.
- Insecure and fearful. If you walked out on them, they NEED their mum to survive, to ensure they are loved and cared for. They are secretly frightened their mum might reject them too, so may feel compelled to reject you, to ‘earn’ their mum’s love.
- They have a picture in their head that a happy family has a child with a mum and a dad. They want you could be a part of their life, but wish this could happen without any conflict.
When you realise the turmoil that goes on inside a child’s head, it’s not surprising to hear that children whose parents split up are more prone to relationship difficulties and mental health problems.
If you can’t see your child do you feel…
- Guilty, for deserting your child?
- Worried, your child will think there was something wrong with them, yet you love them more than anyone?
- Selfish, for giving up the fight to keep seeing your child, ruining your child’s chance of having two parents in their lives?
- Sad, you’re not around for your child, to let them know you love and care for them?
- Missing your chid madly, wondering how they’re getting on and what they’re like?
- Concerned, about what your ex-partner is telling your child about you?
- Upset about the impact it will have on your child’s life, if you’re not around for them?
- Disappointed, you haven’t been around to be a good dad for your child, and that they didn’t deserve it?
- Wishing you could still see your child, have a good relationship with them, and let them know you’re there for them?